Learning how to be more confident opens up MANY opportunities in life.
With more confidence, your employers are more likely to trust you when considering you for promotion.
People in business are also more likely to make a business deal with you.
You will enrich your life with more friends and lovers.
Being more confident, you are less likely to be taken advantage of by people at work or in your personal life.
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Increased confidence gives you a happier and more successful life – it’s that important.
How do you become more confident? Here’s some mental tricks to help increase your confidence levels…
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Let’s pretend
Spend some time pretending to be someone you admire for being confident. You may want to do this in the privacy of “lone time” to start with.
Think of someone you know, either personally or through TV, and act like them. It doesn’t have to be a direct mimic. Just absorb their confident qualities into your personality, and feel what it’s like to be them.
Adopt their body language. Think in a away they think. Speak like they do – not in tone, but in content.
Spend some time being like this personality and absorb their confident ways. Simple tasks like making a sandwich or telephoning your bank allows you to play it out.
This technique has worked well for me. We are all different, so this will work better for some people more than others. There is no one magical formula on how to be more confident.
For this reason, I have asked experts from different backgrounds to give you tips on how to be more confident. Read them all and find the ones that resonate best with you. There are some great suggestions…
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Dan Nainan – http://www.nainan.com
Greetings, I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but before I’m about to perform, one technique I use is to imagine myself on a huge movie screen, 50 feet tall, and I lean back and keep my head high, instead of hunching over and looking at the floor. This is amazing for one’s confidence.
Also, before a performance, I look in the mirror and I say to my reflected self, “I’m not going to let you fail”.
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Learn how to correct your posture!
Now give yourself a compliment as you look in the mirror to check out your
new perfect posture! Don’t you feel more confident already?
Tell yourself what you like on your body and how awesome you are mind, body
and spirit and then carry that positive energy with you all day long! It’s
time to stop picking out your flaws, or what you don’t like, and shift to
positive self talk. Begin telling yourself what you do like!
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Dr. Suzanne Fuchs – http://www.drsuzheals.com
I find it helpful to think of a previous time when I did an amazing job. I
try to recall the feeling I had before, during and after and put myself
back in that same state of mind. For example, if you gave an awesome
presentation that everyone couldn’t stop talking about afterwards. Take
that feeling and apply it to whatever task you have to accomplish now.
Works for me every time!
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Luke Chao – http://www.morpheusclinic.com
I’m a hypnotherapist in Toronto, Canada, and one of my favourite ways to
boost confidence is to set an anchor for it. For your readers who don’t
know, an anchor is a trigger that sets off an emotional response.
For example, we get anchored to the smell of grandma’s baking, our national
flag, a particular song that was played during a slow dance, and so on.
An anchor for confidence can be created by bringing up strong feelings of
confidence (usually by thinking of a time in your life when you felt
extremely confident) and then setting the anchor, a unique stimulus that
isn’t usually experienced during everyday life. For example, anchors can be
a gesture (like pressing your thumb and your middle finger together or
slapping the back of one hand against the palm of another), a unique sound
(like a riff in a rock song), a unique smell or any other experience.
Once you’ve associated confidence with that trigger, you can bring up feelings
of confidence by firing the anchor. The more you reinforce the anchor, the
stronger and more permanent it becomes.
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No matter how confident a person appears to be, lack of confidence is a
common struggle for all of us. Here are two basic mental tips that can be
used to help you feel more confident.
There is a common expression, “fake it until you make it.” This is a mental trick that can be helpful. If you
would like to feel more confident BEHAVE more confidently and you will be
surprised at how your attitude will follow your physical behavior. For
example, walk with your head up high rather than looking down and simply
shuffling from place to place. Walk tall with your shoulders back and head
held high. When you speak, look at people directly in the eyes, give firm
handshakes and engage with genuine conversation with the belief that you
have just has much to offer any conversation. When you make these basic
things common in your life, they become second nature and can give a boost
in your self-confidence.
A second mental tip to boost self-confidence may seem counter
intuitive. A common tip I use when I am feeling less confident is to stop
focusing on myself. Yes, it’s important to recognize how valuable and
unique you are but it is also important to take a break from so much of
focus on ourselves. Giving back to your community, helping others, and
remembering how lucky you are and how much you have to help others can help
boost how you feel about yourself and make a difference in the lives of
others at the same time!
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A study done in Spain in 2009 showed that your brain looks to your posture
to determine how it should feel. Therefore, standing up straight, shoulders
back and displaying confidence, tricks the brain into feeling more
confidence.
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The body and mind are inseparable, not only on the physical level, but also
on the physiological level. (I am in a powerful position so I must be
powerful; I am smiling so I must be happy, etc.) “Power posing” is
positioning the body in a confident way. This tricks your mind into a
physiological response identical to what you would feel if you actually did
feel confident. The easiest thing to do is smile. Force it if you must. An
easy hack is to hold a pen or pencil (or your own finger) between your
teeth.
The second is adopting an strong, open, powerful stance — think about
standing like Wonder Woman or an Olympic athlete the moment they
victoriously cross the finish-line. These expansive positions reduce the
stress hormone, cortisol, and increased testosterone in male test subjects.
(Higher testosterone levels are common in the animal kingdom amongst the
alpha males of a group. While high cortisol is indicative of a lower-status
animal in the same group.)
Neither of these need to be done for a long time, just two minutes. If you
have a big proposal, lecture or job interview coming up, plan an extra
couple minutes into your schedule to practice power posing.
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Kerry P. Taylor – http://www.212healthandperformance.com
My top 3 mental tricks I play on myself to give me a little boost of confidence are the following:
1. Watch or listen to a powerful speech. While listening, I try to put myself in the moment that the person delivering the message is in.
2. Look at myself in the mirror and talk myself up to get ready for the situation that I am going into. All sentences start with the words “I can”.
3. Music, listening to music helps gets the juices flowing which in turn gets me in a great mood which in turn makes me feel that I am on top of the world.
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Emma Brooke – http://www.emmabrooke.net
I’m a coach and use an NLP technique with clients as the brain sometimes
finds it difficult to change feelings but once you link the feeling to an
image, if you then change the image, the feeling by default, also has to
change.
Here it is (might be worth telling people to record themselves saying it):
OK, so I just want to start by asking you to close your eyes and imagine
something for me…just get back to that feeling of insecurity (use
whatever describes your lack of confidence)…that feeling of not being
good enough…being scared…really feel that feeling now…are you there?
Now…if that feeling were a shape, what shape would it be?
What colour, would it be 2d or 3d, what colour would the background be?
If you were to make the shape the same colour as the background would it
need to go lighter or darker?
Great…so now I’d like you to, in whatever way works best for you, make
that shape smaller…smaller…until it’s so small if it got any smaller it
would just…disappear. Let me know when you’ve done that.
OK…so now what I’d like you to do is make it smaller still, so you can
look all over the background and notice it’s completely gone.
Fantastic…so now…if healing had a colour, what colour would it be?
Imagine it flowing in to the background, all over it, in a way that works
best for you…and continue to do that until everywhere is completely
covered with that healing colour and it has done all it needs to do for
that feeling to disappear…
OK…now where is that original feeling? It should have disappeared…
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Lynn A. Robinson – http://lynnrobinson.com
Your self-talk has a huge impact on your self-confidence. The power of your thoughts and the images you hold in your mind can shape your entire outlook on life. When you’re consistently holding negative or pessimistic thoughts you’ll feel down, depressed and discouraged.
Try this experiment:
Think of something that you really want. Got it? Now spend about twenty seconds saying to yourself, “I’ll never get it. I’m not good enough. I’m not lucky. People don’t like me. It will never happen.” You get the idea. Now, how do you feel? Pretty crummy, right?
Try this again. Bring to mind something you want to create in your life. Spend twenty seconds saying the following,
“I’m so excited about having (this thing).”
“I know I’m on the right track.”
“I have what it takes to succeed at this.”
“Good things are coming my way.”
“I’m open to wonderful, new possibilities.”
I’ll bet you feel positive and filled with more confidence to move forward. Your mind is a key factor in creating a positive and confident life. It’s important to put good things in there!
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Superhero outfit. I think if more people wore Batman, Superman or
Wonder Woman suits, they would feel more confident. Getting away with a
cape in the modern world may be tough, but you can always wear a mental
cape. Keep it simple and wear a favorite shirt, hat or socks. The point is
that when you’re wearing that ie red hat, you’re in superhero mode.
Meaning, you feel the fear and do it anyway.
Embrace your courage song. Everyone has a “power song” that just makes
them feel alive and full of energy. Find a courage song. This song is meant
to inspire you. When you’re feeling full of fear or overwhelmed, just play
your song and let it build up your confidence. Go into the beats and lyrics
of the song. It helps if the song has great beats or motivational lyrics.
One song that does it for me is “Dare” by Stan Bush.
Be in a movie. Think of a movie you love where the main character faces
fear and manages to go through it. Find your favorite scene in that movie.
Watch it and memorize that one scene. Now the next time you feel some fear,
replay your favorite scene from the movie. Here’s the trick: replace the
main character with yourself. Mentally put yourself in your favorite scene
and see yourself living with confidence.
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Cara Maksimow
Being confident has a lot to do with expectations. Often when we are nervous or scared we find ourselves thinking about all that could go wrong and how that creates anxiety and fear. The more we think about “what if…” negative possibilities, the less confident we become.
Our minds will focus on what we ask them to focus on. If we consciously go into a situation with conscious attention and thought to what will go right we can gain confidence. For example if we are about to go into a job interview and a few minutes before we think “what if I bomb? what if i start to sweat? what if my mind goes blank? am i prepared? “ Those thoughts create doubt and anxiety.
Consciously think through the best outcomes. Imagine yourself answering tough questions with ease. Imagine yourself hitting it off wonderfully with the person interviewing you. Imagine questions you have prepared for and see yourself with awesome answers. Imagine getting the job offer. Put a mental picture together of exactly what it will look like to have success. Keep that image in your mind and you gin into the situation.
If you think about all the ways you will “mess up” you will lose confidence. Think about all the ways to succeed and gain confidence. As you start to go back to automatic negative thoughts bring yourself back to success and what that looks like and feels like and remind yourself that you can absolutely make this happen. You have already seen it!
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Suzanna Mathews – http://www.thedatemaven.com
When women adopt “male” seating poses, such as taking up more space,
reclining in the chair, spreading their arms and legs, etc. their
testosterone levels rise. Testosterone boosts risk taking, which boosts
confidence. So, while it might feel a little silly and strange at first, a
woman can give herself this boost by sitting at a desk the way a man would.
Hold the pose for a minute and breathe into it and notice how your body
feels. If you do this before you have to confront someone or make a big
decision or take a big risk, you may notice you do so with higher
confidence!
For some women, it’s also worthwhile to have your hormones tested
because brain chemistry can play a huge role in confidence. Healthy
serotonin levels encourages confidence in ability to made decisions because
it lowers our stress. Oxytocin is another neurotransmitter that affects our
desire to hug, be sexual with our lovers, be generous with our friends,
share, exercise, and even make moral decisions — all things which
reinforce confidence! High oxytocin is also tied to high optimism, and when
you have healthy levels of oxytocin, things just seem easier to handle and
confidence comes more naturally.
Hypnotherapy is also great for helping build your confidence. It can remove negative programming that you pick up in your subconscious mind throughout your life.
Confidence starts With our parents, school’s and the jobs we choses. Wherever, were the happiest the more confident we’ll be.
Hi Rosarie. Yes I agree, but in an opposite kind of way. I like to think we have total confidence when we’re born. We don’t worry about what people think about us. When we develop and become more complex, we learn many things, such as the consequence of our actions on others. Without good nurturing these life’s lessons can erode our confidence. It can be difficult, but not impossible, to reverse the effect of these early lesson in life.